it was totally stupid. just wanna help out. i know you dont wanna me to. i've let you be in charge, but simply abuse that authority. i dont see what qualities you have. you told me that timing. i waited for more than half and hour. not even pickng up your phone. wasted my time. i may have done something else more meaningful.

i dont like that feeling okay. keep telling myself that i have to adapt to you. listening to you, since you have that authority. i just walked out of school. KM saw me. he thought i angry with him. he likes to intepret. but he misintepret it. anyway, was feeling quite angry and depress lor. but i'll never know it'll happen. sitting on the bus, God's common grace just fell upon me. sitting beside me was a mother with a 1 or 2 year old babe. she's rather active, and tapping my shoulder. she's really cute. she gave me a smile, or rather more than a smile. and i rmb.. Daddy is reminding me of how a babe clings on to her mother. and i should do so too. coming into His arms, with a perfect love.

A babe is not perfect, but they're definitely loving God more than i do. they're pure and holy, and all they do is to depend on their Father. how i wish to be like a babe, without any problems, free and comfortable. this is my ministry, which He have called me to. going through the narrow way, only a few will see the light. i really hope that i'll be the few that squeeze my way through, with the hand of guidance. there must be a purpose for me to do so. walking in faith but not in sight. all i can and will do now is to listen and obey. there's no other way. to be happy with Jesus everyday. hahas

i love Dr.A.R.Bernard! he's so cool man. bringing the msg into our hearts and transform and renew our mindset about the SERCULAR. he's great anyway.

woke up late today. took CAB to expo. (CAB = MONEY) reached there ard 9am. which is early. hahas. found Yong Wei(the usher IC) cant regconise his face. luckily logistics only got a few people. he said i can start training next week. cool! cant wait. our CG members are just those few. only take up not even a row. hahas. during sermon, i thought i may just fall asleep, but the anointing, the power, the presence just came upon. wanna sleep also difficult. as Dr. Bernard began to speak, mini explosions just occurs in my heart and mind. the 'ting! ting!' just happened. which i so called revelation. began to realise how much i need to walk in faith but not by sight. in the area of building fund, my ministry, spirituality, and many more areas. now i got the understanding of 'MY MARKETPLACE' it's totally awesome. i'm the living temple now. hahas. so proud.

after service went for PM. N302 outcast us. boohoo. now i felt that having Terence being a friend is better than a CGL. more jokes, more relax. i though PM is at hall. so put my bag there. then after know that is conference room. chiong from hall 5 to hall 8. though will be lost. but it's just sitting there peacefully. hahas. then though PM start already. after that then realised that it's BS. misinterpretation. hahas. it's more than a handful of people turned up for PM. and i pratically forgot that people from the same BS are people in WYZ. hahas. quite of a joke when we met outside of conference room. PM was totally cool. starting out with the year right. (Eric is a wallpaper)

went home after that, missed my bustop. then sat all the way to central. it's a good thing. if i never sleep in bus, i'll never meet my primary school teacher. surprised that she still remembers my name. so cool.

****For people who doesnt understand what i'm posting about, it's okay. just take it as i'm speaking alien to you. anyway, this blog is just to record and pen down my routine and feelings. hahas.

Firstly, i would like to blog abt usher ministry. last week went for trail. not training. was quite good.though there's much to do, but i like the feel of it. serving people, serving God. get to know more people now. like michelle and yong wei. and many more. i dont know why John dont want me to join usher ministry. hahas. different people got different calling mah. now, at least i've fulfil one of my goals. in the beginning, was thinking maybe to try SF(strikeforce) but i dont think my standard is up to there, and it's not my calling anyway. i'm quite excited abt usher ministry. it's a different perpective.

Secondly, I would blog abt gb on friday. it was totally hilirious. playing guitar ytd, coz not enough practice, it totally flunged. i dont quite like working with samantha. she's a total joke to me. but no choice. futhur more, she's the asst. head. anyway, only four sec ones turned up ytd. until ytd then i know the Jinyer was Vannessa's cousin. totally different character. hahas. looks like Jinyer dont like her. hahas. I'm starting to have good impressions abt Vanessa. she's good actually. in studies and in character. but if she puts in more effort in these, i believe she'll prosper. And! i getting more and more dont like drill..totally hate it man. though competition is coming, but then need to commit alot of time in it. wed is a no CCA day. but on wed still have drill..finding all the stupid excuses of not going for drill. and my mind is not processing well on the commands now.hahas. still kana ting xian bully ytd. hais. GG on fri like so many people.. 12 sec ones and 1 sec 2. that's very cool. big gang

Thirdly, i wanna blog abt today. hahas. sleep until 1plus pm. bro bring girlfriend home. but nv get to see her. but i see photo she looks older then bro. saw ms amanda koh on bus. still as meaty as ever. i alight wrong stop. a stop earlier. sian. walk all the way in to Elijah's house. with Kit Meng's guitar. i think i saw mr yap at his friend's resturant there. he was in his car. very easy to regconise. it's in maroon, and the style is you can find it anywhere in singapore. was abt to say hi. but he drove off liao. hahas. CG only 8 people turn up. Elijah's room was so airy coz little people to fight for the air. hahas. after CG walked out to kovan. finally have chance to serve her. help her take brolly. hahas. if others walked by and dont know, she may seemed to be my mother. hahas. like mother and child walking in rain. haha. joke man. Joanna was laughing and laughing. but it's good. more interaction with leader. cool. Jasmine treat us dessert. she's cool. i like her.

got abit of flu today. quite sick.hahas.

this is my second post. just now com hang. coz of some stupid website.
anyway..today i woke up at 1pm. then meet Kit Meng for CGM. took cab there. and we were too early. Elijah still haven come home from batminton.

it's the first CGM in the year.and offically our first CGM with our newly appointed CGL.
she's great. though Terence is good too. Jasmine told us Terence CG, N302 is directly under Pastor's supervision lah.. so cool.. but stress too. hahas

After CG went fellowship. ate alot. then stayed in.. coz raining mah. then watch the movie ''the lake house''. it's a thinking movie man. need brains. hahas. watch until 8pm. then go Ariel's house A.K.A Aaron's house. went to borrow clothing and heels. btw, i'm serving usher tmr. it's so cool! trail only though.

I'm at the edge of decision. what will i do? should i or should i not? should i give up my dream? should i give up the vision that God gave me? but i felt that He is telling me not to. through people, through His word, through Him. do i have the potential? do i have the ability to do it? to let people accept it? but every part of me God created is to glorify Him, to shine for Him.

Day after day. Everyday going to the same place at the same time with the same channel.
But experiencing different things everyday..new drama series acting everyday. Nobody will know what's gonna happen the next moment.

I seem to be not clear of what's going on now. what's the point of merger? yes, we have to bring out the best of everything. but it doesnt seem right to me. discipline is impt, but to me, it's not the main thing after all... we have to enjoy ourselves..dont we? though it's just a day, but where have the spirit that we had gone to? where's our unity? where are we heading to? i dont know.
abit sad and depress abt it. can we be the same as before? where's the effort and sweat and time our teacher put into? it's 4 years but everything have to start all over again. it may be good or bad. but i can do nothing abt it anymore. the way up is the way down. i have to look futhur..but where's my future? so many tribulations. let's be history makers. but where's the start?

the second thing i'm really concern abt is my studies. nv been so 'hardworking' before. the change that took place really shocked me.. missing 1 week of lessons are killing me now. so much to catch up, so much to understand. i really hope that i wont go back the route that i took last year. i cant afford to get a red mark again in my report book. but i must really thank God for some people who is there. the help to go to another level. of my studies, and my spiritual life.

i really hope all things will come to a pause. let me take a deep deep breath and continue my race. that's a dream, and anit no gaint gonna step on it. defending and obeying and trust. it's all i can do now.

today almost late for school.
Ms Tan not in school today.
English period spent almost one hour walking ard and setting the PA system up.
wasted alot time.
then History. Mr Arman best man. one period can teach one chapter. somemore so clear. hahas
then the best part is here. MR CHIOH.
he walked in the class.. just like before. no repect for him..then alot ppl frm geo class come..
then he very angry..then walk out class.. hais. almost the whole maths lessons gone again.
then some of us go get him back. still..i dont catch what he teaches. hahas.

today really waste alot time doing nothing lor.
first is English, then Maths. best part. FnN. the theory teacher not in school. and our two periods are so free. the practical teacher dont want take us. hais. E4 means E4. there's no doubt about it. wanna change class lor. but dont think can. HOW TO STUDY LIDDAT!?

HAHAS! now is 6.50pm and i just woke up 1 hour and 30min ago.
was very tired from the sec one orientation camp.
dont really like it.. coz it's very tiring.. and having me, being the bad guy in camp.
stayed over in sch on wed. played some games, and get some things done. slept the earliest, but woke up the lastest. and was the tiredest. hahas...
alot of things were being delayed coz of rain. and ytd.. we played the last game..
'improvised hand ball' which i believed it was the best of all in these two days.
i slept almost all the way thru the game..watching them play. quite cool.
and some how over heard that our councilors are very handsome..and sort of like them..
i tot it was rather funny to me. the sec ones look upon our councilors in a great way.. but actually they are all jokers.. hahas. they must have been thru 'SOJ'! HAHAS.

after camp went for GB.. i was the odd one out. everyone was wearing full-U, and i was only wearing polo-T and bemudes. looks most of them love the game..and 'Father Abraham'..of coz..Abraham was called the friend of God. hahas.
missed one class...coz helped out Mr Yap with the registration of the parents of sec ones for the parents talk. it's good..that anutie and azhar came to helped out. hahas. and Ms Chee actually wanted us to promote the sch year book. scan thru the year book..got quite a number of my face..hahas. and i realised that my sec one hair style was so so noob. hahas. reached home at 9pm. then slp until today 5.20pm..hahas. missed svc today..too tired.. going tmr! DELIRIOUS!! WHOO!

2nd say of school was like argh...
all the books so heavy..somemore thick ones.
started lessons of coz..all the teachers are talking about the same thing.
sec 3 foundation year lah.. sec 4 o'levels..hais.
daddy drove me to school again today! i wonder he dont need slp one meh? these two days wake up so early and bring me to school..and my sch is west his company is east lah. hahas.
i've got a headache from maths. one lesson teach two question only. mr chioh and mr chioh..
you teach so chiong but only do two questions. hais.
falling asleep from physics class..but nv slp lah. if not i die liao.
so stress ar...so many things to do.. so many topic to study.. think this year must really buck up.
if not cannot make it.

i got very encouraged by the video sermon from last week service. it was really a great sermon.
thank God for Pastor Kong bringing to us so many messages. LOL.

i think i've never worked so hard before. TMR going for sec one orientation sentosa trail. usually dont need go lesson i very happy..but this year i think i'm gonna miss ALOT of my lessons..must sarcifice..hahas. need to study more at home..

this year sec ones i think they are really potential for revival. HAHAHAS! Harvesters! stop waiting lah! come on! bring on revival!!!! the harvest is indeed really really white..but the labours are few. hahas.

i saw Li Qing's sister ytd. they look so alike! miss quite alot of her.. primary school used to sit together and sometimes copy spelling..hahas. miss the days is primary school man..so pure and innocent. hmmm....

hahas! first day of school today..daddy woke up very early..also dunno why. anyway, he sent me to sch! first time in his car! hahas..then rmb joanna..first day being teacher..some more next door from my school. so cool.

it's great to see the sec ones. looking blurr, innocent and pure. hahas.

should i count myself lucky or what. going to E4 is no joking matter..
last class of express...hais. form teacher is ms tan from ncc..say shiong not shiong..say good not good.hahas..
today lesson got mr ho and mr chionh..mr ho really teach less learn more. so pro. and mr chionh..wonder how would i survive for the next year of maths. hais.

very confuse about the sec one orientation camp alr. hope that i can just sit there do nothing.
no scoldings, no complians, no blackmouthing. how great is that? but seems that if i dont do anything, who will do it? think i'm using too much of power of one..arghhh!! so confuse. what is what?! what's right and what's wrong! somebody teach me! i tired of all these. hais.

Happy New Year!
it's a brand new beginning yeah?
let's all pray that we will shine like stars above!
All that is, is in the past.. look forward! do better in studies! in what ever we may be!

Today sleep until 3.30pm. hahas. then watch TV until ard 5pm..
papa bring me to eat dinner. so bless.
eat until cannot move.
then papa say he forgot to bring keys..hahas..
but luckily we got put keys beside the door..can reach..
so cool. looking forward for school reopen..many many many things to do..hahas.

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Kai Lin
17
21/12/92
City Harvest Church
WR Zone
N346
Temasek Polytechnic
Psychology and Early Childhood Studies!

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